[{"id":13692,"order":0,"imagePath":"https://admin.ezystream.com/static/images/article/63065f9c-c463-492a-ba9a-aee82c818804.png","type":"image","content":"https://admin.ezystream.com/static/images/article/63065f9c-c463-492a-ba9a-aee82c818804.png"},{"id":13693,"order":1,"contentText":"Christine Stride is Executive Assistant to the Baptist National Leader and works at the Baptist National Support Centre in Auckland. She is part of Titirangi Baptist Church.
Have you ever noticed how sometimes Godu2019s word is directed at you so accurately that you unconsciously deflect it?
I experienced this once at a retreat while listening to a woman speak honestly and humbly about the challenges she faced in life.
I listened, but my reaction was not one of sympathy. Instead, I just felt sorry for myself. As I thought about the challenges in my life phrases like, u2018that was unfairu2019, u2018why did that have to happen to me?u2019 and u2018Where was God in all that?u2019 began piling up in my head. Pretty soon I had a solid barrier of negative thoughts blocking anything positive the speaker had to say. It was a strong, strange reaction to the speakeru2019s message, Finding peace in the Psalms.
Later, I found myself offloading my lifeu2019s hardships to another woman. She listened and simply said, u2018And God sees all that. He knowsu2019. While her words donu2019t sound all that comforting, they were something of a lightbulb moment for me. In one fell swoop they knocked down the barrier of negativity that Iu2019d created. On hearing those seven words, I experienced a profound sense of being cared for and supported. I felt that because my heavenly father was aware of all my trials and challenges, I could get through anything. I experienced a wonderful sense of inner peace.
So, how is that possible? Why was it that simply knowing that God knows what Iu2019m going through comforted me so much? It doesnu2019t make sense. As a non-Christian friend responded when I tried explaining it, u201cSo youu2019re happy because God knows about your suffering. But you donu2019t care that heu2019s not doing anything about it.u201d
Over the following months, I continued to mull over exactly why Iu2019d felt such peace after hearing the womanu2019s words at the retreat. It frustrated me that my non-Christian friend didnu2019t get it. It frustrated me that I couldnu2019t explain it well enough so that she would get it.
Was I at peace because the creator of the universe, someone so unfathomably big and powerful and good, noticed my suffering amid all the other things he was dealing with? That sounded too much like my friendu2019s first comment about an uninvolved God who saw suffering and did nothing.
Was it because I knew that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose? That everything I went through was going to work out for the greater good, including my own, at some point in some way u2026?
One day, months later, I was telling a friend about how Iu2019d lost my phone that morning and in searching for it I had bumped my shin on the coffee table and had been late to an appointment which then made me late to something else which ended up not happening because of my lateness. u201cIt was so frustrating!u201d I said. u201cOh dear,u201d my friend responded.
I felt embarrassed, like a toddler crying over something adults donu2019t consider serious.
However, my friend went on to agree how frustrating it is when one small thing sets off a chain reaction. They commiserated over the cancelled event. They asked how my shin was. Their acknowledgement of the situation, their affirmation of my feelings, their interest in the details was somehow a real soothing balm. And it struck me that perhaps what Iu2019d been made aware of at the retreat was that having a relationship with God is so profoundly good, so sustaining and so life-giving.
Our Father, who knows us intimately and who delights in us, deeply feels for us. He knows the frustrations, the knocks, the knock-backs, but he offers way more than the u2018Oh dearu2019-type platitudes.
I returned to the deep and universal truths found in the Psalms u2013 to where I had originally been guided.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
Psalm 139:1-4
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Thank you, Jehovah El Roi, the God who sees me.
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